Lost voices

This is the second time in less than a month where in I have had the opportunity to see 2 patients with lung cancer who have lost their voices. Both of whom are very much eager to gain their voice and be able to be "normal" again.

It must be hard to have a diagnosis of cancer and even harder of not having a voice and be able to communicate what they want and what they want to say to their loved ones.

Just had a talk with one of my previous patient with lung cancer stage IV. She is not walking anymore due to the metastasis to her spine, but she is still strong and fighting. I am amazed at her inner strength and emotional stability. Likewise, the strong family support that she is getting.

This is so opposite the lung cancer patient with brain metastasis, whose wife is so negative and and unbelieving in what we are trying
to achieve for her husband.  Even if she doesn't believe what we are doing, I will understand and accept.
But to see that she doesn't even help with what his husband is going through, that for me is unacceptable.

Cancer support is the most important thing a patient needs. Loneliness, despair, anxiety and worry adds exponentially to an already stressed individual. I have seen time and time again, how the family acts and support their loved ones from a disease, will somehow predict their survival.

My next step is to form a cancer support group. I hope and wish that we can make it happen at the soonest possible time.

Back from Vacation

Just got back from the a well-needed vacation!!! I had a some sun burning issues right now, hahahaha! The Boracay beach is still looking white and clean, though I notice it's not as clean as it used to be. When you see cigarette butts floating, you start wondering what else is there that you can't see or haven't seen. Yucks!

I hope that they will able to maintain its pristine beaches. It's one of the few beaches where I have been that fishes are also swimming beside you eventhough you are not even 5 feet away from the shoreline.

I guess its back to work for me.

Depression?

Met my friends whom I have been with for the longest possible time. Everyone is now successful in their respective fields. And one of the friend asked me: "Don't you get depressed when one of your patients died, that's why I didn't want to be in the clinical setting." He is a hospital administrator for their hospital.

I suddenly stopped and didn't know how to reply to that question. At that moment in time, I realized: "I think I am, but I am not fully aware of the extent or depth of that emotion."

My reply was, shrinking away from further questioning: "Of course, a little bit." But the truth is, I really don't know, and do I really want to explore that area?

In my med school and I'm sure in almost all the med schools out there, students aren't trained or at least informed of how to handle the emotional and psychological effects of patients' questioning, pestering, pleading, and worse suffering and death itself. WE all were just thrown into the proverbial lion's den and fend for ourselves for whatever physical and psychoemotional asteriods that come into our direction.

Sure there are also psychiatrists, but honestly, how can they treat fellow collegues esp if they themselves suffer the same affliction. And how can you "stay unattached" as much as possible? Only robots and reptilian-based creatures can do that, being cold and steady without emotions.

What will keep the doctors sane after long years of practice?

Blogging

I've been tweaking my blog site lately and I would say that I am a bit amused at how my site looks with all the funny buttons here and there.
Guess, I am a little envious of some of the blog sites that are featured in the "Blogosphere" though for what reason I'm not yet certain. Maybe I want to be famous too! hahahaha.
But I'm happy and contented that I can express myself without fear of reprisal or unwanted criticism from my patients or from fellow doctors.
Until I saw Doctor Anonymous! I said to myself, I don't want to be like him, hounded and all. I feel sorry for him that he is Anonymous no more. Me don't want that, I want to remain anonymous for the longest possible time :)

Lung Cancer with Brain Mets

Its going to be a hard case, this one. I have doubts that the patient and his wife are really going to realize the importance of doing things the natural way. I fear that I might not be able to help them since the patient is still in a state of denial, while the wife is leaning towards chemotherapy. But after the 10 sessions of radiotherapy and the lost hair, isn't it enough to show the wife that her husband might not be able to withstand chemotherapy.
I saw using the SCIO that he's in a lot of stress, not only because of the cancer but more because of the financial difficulties now and waht lies ahead, with the chemotherapy drugs which will cost more than 100,000 for them ($2000) each session.
I hope I can help them at least for the time being.

Genes and then some

I have seen a lot of my patients who have done chemotherapy, radiotherapy or both. But almost all of them somehow will ultimately fail or failed to finish the course because of poor tolerance to the side effects or tumor doesn't respond or even becomes bigger.

Recently, more and more research have come out about the importance of doing genetic profiling of the tumor to get an overall picture of the prognosis as well as which chemotherapeutic agents willl be effective.

I wish that we here in the Philippines, will adopt that and spare patients from trial and error. Though I know that this will be unlikely in the near future since, all medical expenses will be paid by the patients.

Sad to say, our medical insurance in the Philippines, deliberately or not, excluded cancer for coverage and left people to spend a preposterous amount on chemotherapy. And adding insult would be that chemotherapy drug or drugs will eventually go to waste since the patients will not finish a course. Leaving the patient in pain, frustration and disgust to their fate.

Sleepless

I can't seem to sleep these past few days. I keep thinking of my past and present patients who I am and have taken care of. It seems that I am rationalizing things that are already been done or things that were inevitable.

Weird, maybe my subconscious is tryng to tell me something!!! I have to know what is it soon, or I go crazy. I can't stop thinking especially of a new patient with lung cancer with metastasis to the brain, that is going to be a bit more difficult. I hope I can help him fast!

Nutrition in Cancer

I just came back from seeing my patient with liver cancer who had just had a t-tube placed due to the blockage of the bile ducts. He is still weak from the surgery and the hospitalization. In fact, I felt a sense of desperation on his part, mainly because he is usually strong and up and about even after being with the liver cancer and all for the past 5 years.

I think its fantastic that this person is able to deal with it sans despair, until now. So I had to talk and coerce him to take things one at a time and give his body enough time to recover. Of course, as we age, our recovery time lengthens, what more if he has cancer.

What was striking was the fact that one of his doctors told him he can only have 3 eggs /week!! I was aghast!!! He is a vegetarian so where else aside from beans can he get the necessary protein? Eggs have one of the most complete set of nutrition that is easily available. He doesn't have high cholesterol, my god, he is suffering from malnutrition.

I wish that the doctors will re evaluate their philosophies (note not knowledge coz most physicians aren't well versed in nutrition) and update the current thinking with real hard facts.

I remember a patient told me that his pediatrician told her to stop taking omega 3 oil because she was breast feeding (another jaw opener) My reply was, if thats the case, then why in the world is Omega 3 specifically DHA incorporated in infants' formula?

My wish is that at least the doctors will start reading rather than listening to med reps!

Passed away

I am totally shocked right now, knowing that one of my patients had just passed away. He was just hospitalized for pneumonia but apparently, things got worse than better. I was already looking forward of seeing him again, after his wife called and told me that he was looking to see me too!

His condition was bad, having liver cancer but no metastasis to other organs at that point in time. He was, I would deduce a good chance of surviving for at least 2 years without any pain or complications. Looking back now, I still feel and think of the same assessment. I guess I forgot to include his overall outlook in life. He was a bit bitter and angry for the past events of his life.

We were going to that point of dealing his emotions, but things got worse day by day, to the point that he was hospitalized.

As previously posted, I am really apprehensive of cancer patients going to the hospitals due to the fact that their immune system is totally shot if not non-existent. Definitely, the case here exemplify this scenario AGAIN.

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Recovery

Its been a slow week for me, and therefore more time to read and reflect really. I feel as if our Creator has told me to slow down for a moment and think about what I have done right and WRONG. Most especially the wrong part.

I remember a quote from someone saying like: "To make a right decision requires experience, and to gain experience is to make the wrong decision."

Ouch, I wish it would be that easy if it were not for the life of a person on the line, however I have yet to see a major blunder and I really am very careful what I do and give my patients.

My liver cancer patients are slowly coming back to life ( I really hope so) I will see them this week or the next, following their hospitalization, one for pneumonia, the other for tube placement (his bile ducts were obstructed due to the tumor, despite the fact that we were already seeing regression of the tumor from the outside) Well, you cant get every tumor all at the same time.

But I am optimistic that the treatment we are doing will continually and without interruptions, make the tumors with a BIG S, will gradually go away PERMANENTLY!

As of late, I think I am now in a low-level of enthusiasm, I dont know why? Is this transference, burn-out, boredom or a combination?

I know I have to keep up with the knowledge but lately I feel I'm not even a bit interested, wonder why?

Bile duct obstruction

I just got one patient who just had jaundice, as it turned out, the bile ducts (the tubes that secretes bile) was obstructed by the tumor.

It was so disappointing since when I started the homeopathics, the tumor was already shrinking.

But because of his having difficulty sleeping, the tumor grew back and bigger this time I hope I can do soemthing more

We'll see

Its Christmas and I'm not exactly so happy, My patient just passed away a few days ago from sepsis. It was forthcoming, I knew it the moment the wife called in to tell me that her husband will go to the hospital because of infection in his T-tube.

Its so sad and ironic, that the last place people with cancer should go is the hospital. Its a sad and true fact. they are immunocompromised, any infection that they will get from the hospital will definitely make their life (not to mention the quality of life) shorter.

I hope the new year will bring better times for my patients, losing them this way is not what everybody wants.

Its soon to be Christmas, 7 days to be exact, my patients are quite ok except for one who has pancreatic cancer that is in the hospital with nosocomial pseudomonas infections. That is the very reason why I dont like cancer patients stay in the hospitals for long periods of time, they eventually succumb not to cancer but to infections.

I wish that my orders comes before Christmas so I can give my patient one more fighting chance!

I pray!!!

Fresh from Malaysia

Just got back from KL, and it was an eye opener of sorts, seeing the sights, sound and smell of Malaysia, though only in the urban areas. I would love to see the beaches and the spas.

I was with my patient seeking another advice from a Nutritionist. Well, nothing really major, I do know that they use a lot of Dr. Rath's protocol which is composed of green tea extracts, lysine and proline.

I was a bit impressed with the level of involvement of the alternative medical practitioners in terms of government support. I hope I can also practice there when the time is right.

I got hold of a friend of mine in Medical school who had cancer. I feel so sad that it happened to one of my closer friends, in fact he is the nicer ones

I sincerely hope that it will be the last of it, and I pray he will get stronger. It becomes a very personal issue for me when somebody I know has this problem, considering I see cancer patients on a daily basis.

I'm feeling a little bit better now, and my patient too. But now, I have 2 more who are in trouble. Arrghhh... dont know up to what time I can handle the stress

Its been a hard 2 weeks for me. I'M FFELING SO DOWN AND lonely. I feel so bad coz my thoughts and what I have done seems not enough to help thos who really need it. I can't seem to shake the feeling of despair, must be from my patients (transference).

I hope I will shake it off soon

I have had the best 2 weeks so far in terms of my patients' health. Three of them are I would say, very well in terms of their overall health, 1 lung, 1 pancreatic and 1 gastric Ca, all of them in the stage 4.

Its unbelievable to see that their immune system are kicking in and tumor markers are coming down, 2 of them already have normal levels of tumor markers. Symptom-wise, 2 of them are having new worries such as electrolyte imbalance and lymph node enlargements.

The neck lymph nodes are a bit worrisome though, in the area of tumor excision and the surounding areas are all the same from previous scans. Just had a biopsy and waiting for the results. I would be devastated like the patient if it turns out to be malignant. Because, his overall health has drastically improved.

My patient with ADHD, however is another story. He's back on anti-psychotics but I think he just went to a phase of copying his classmates rather than being a behavioral problem. I hope he will soon be off that med.

Have a new patient, breast cancer without any operation or chemoradiotherapy, she's a full time alternative treatment person. I hope we can shrink the tumor in the soonest possible time. I dont really advocate a No surgery because I feel and think that the tumor load is too much to handle for any person. But we have to respect the patient's decision.

Its been a long time since I last posted. Have had a couple of patients who were previously very close to the gates of Heaven. However, as must be God's will, they are now doing quite good and free or only negligible pain.

At present, I did one session of Emotional Freedom technique AND IT DID WONDERS in fact, that even I could not believe my eyes. I will be doing more of this I think.